Kyleigh's story begins much different than Billie's story. I could never say a child was an accident, and I hate that statement when I hear others say it. But, Kyleigh came as a BIG SURPRISE to us!
As I waited for Michael to get home from work one evening, I sat in the recliner rocking Billie. I was having a major craving for BBQ, so Michael and I had already discussed when he called about going to Ozark to eat for dinner. As I sat there waiting for him to get home, I suddenly felt what felt like a baby kick in my abdomen. It happened three times. I was kind of quiet the rest of the evening and didn't tell Michael about what I had felt. But something in my head kept telling me to take a pregnancy test the next morning.
While Michael was getting ready for church the next morning, I went to Billie's bathroom to take a test. I still feel really guilty about what happened next. I cried and cried when I saw the + sign. I was just so scared, confused, and worried. It was a weak moment. I immediately went to Michael, told him, and he hugged me and said, "Mandy, it's okay. We can handle this. We're going to have another baby, and it'll be okay, I promise." (He's always the "go with the flow", rational one. Ha!) He said, "We just need to concentrate on being happy about it because there's no changing it!" Again, I still feel bad about having to be told this when I know what a blessing a child can be. But it was what it was, and it came as a big surprise! This all happened on my mom & dad's wedding anniversary, by the way.
Seeing as how I didn't have a clue how far along I was, I had to have an ultrasound done right away to determine the due date. Fortunately, I was not very far along because I was taking my arthritis medications that had to be stopped during pregnancy. I think this was one reason I hadn't handled the positive pregnancy test so well: I was so worried about taking those medications and what effects they could have on the baby. Some may call it luck, but I still think that God gave me those "kicks" (which were not really baby kicks) to cause me to take a test and then know that I needed to stop those medications once finding out I was pregnant again.
I had a good pregnancy, once again. No blood pressure scares this time around. And, I decided to just schedule a c-section at the recommendation of my doctor. There are pros and cons with this just as there are every decision in life, but she strongly felt like I would have a repeat of my first long, long labor with no progression if I chose not to schedule the c-section. I got really nervous and stressed, though, when one of the nurses was not very nice to me and spoke very rudely to me, Michael, and my mom. Why would someone do that to a pregnant woman who is already very scared about going into surgery at that moment? Some people can be so thoughtless. I remember the doctor saying, "She's here, your beautiful little girl", but then I suddenly knew something was wrong. She was not making a sound. I kept crying and asking Michael, "What's wrong? What's wrong? Why isn't she crying?" No one would tell me anything, but the mother's instinct was kicking in that something just wasn't right. Our pediatrician had to give her 2 breaths because she wasn't breathing when she came out (one of the most well-known cons of c-sections). She had to stay in the neonatal unit and be monitored very closely for quite some time. We all anxiously awaited to hold her, and after a couple or three hours, the doctor finally released her for just a few minutes to come into our room so we could announce her name to family...Kyleigh Emerson (named after her mama)...our second little miracle from God!
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Saturday, May 8, 2010
"Just" a mom!
I had someone ask me the other day "What do you do?", and my reply was, "I'm just a mom." Wow, did I really just say that? After I can get so irritated about others' degrading remarks about having it easy as a stay-at-home mom. So, I'm writing this as a reminder to myself to never, ever put myself down again for choosing to be a stay-at-home mom.
It just so happened that Dr. Phil aired an episode the very next day with mothers debating whether to work outside of the home or not when raising kids, so I recorded it. Talk about adding fuel to the fire! Both sides were equally ridiculous! One stay-at-home mom attacked a working mom saying that she didn't put her kids first because she chose to work outside of the home. That just angered me: there are so many mothers (especially single moms) who are not afforded the opportunity to stay at home with their children. They have to work in order to provide shelter, food, and clothing for their kids. How can someone be so close-minded? Equally as frustrating was the working mom who called the stay-at-home moms lazy and accused them of taking the easy road. EXCUSE ME???? Come spend a day at my house and then tell me I'm lazy. It's like a friend of mine, who's also a stay-at-home mom, said, "Do people really think I sit on my couch eating bon-bons and watching soaps all day?!?!?!" Being "just" a mom is hard work! I've told Michael on several occasions that I've had easier days at the office!
It just so happened that Dr. Phil aired an episode the very next day with mothers debating whether to work outside of the home or not when raising kids, so I recorded it. Talk about adding fuel to the fire! Both sides were equally ridiculous! One stay-at-home mom attacked a working mom saying that she didn't put her kids first because she chose to work outside of the home. That just angered me: there are so many mothers (especially single moms) who are not afforded the opportunity to stay at home with their children. They have to work in order to provide shelter, food, and clothing for their kids. How can someone be so close-minded? Equally as frustrating was the working mom who called the stay-at-home moms lazy and accused them of taking the easy road. EXCUSE ME???? Come spend a day at my house and then tell me I'm lazy. It's like a friend of mine, who's also a stay-at-home mom, said, "Do people really think I sit on my couch eating bon-bons and watching soaps all day?!?!?!" Being "just" a mom is hard work! I've told Michael on several occasions that I've had easier days at the office!
After watching that episode of Dr. Phil, I just wanted to scream, "Can't we all just get along?" Everyone makes their choice, and regardless of whether you work outside the home or inside the home, motherhood is a tough job and has its challenges in every situation. I'm lucky to have a wonderful husband who supports my decision to be a full-time mom at this time. Some aren't so lucky to have that support! I'm also grateful that God has given Michael a job that can support us so that I'm afforded this opportunity. Yes, sacrifices are made...mainly, a house. When I get discouraged about not building our house yet, I have to take a moment and remind myself that I can't get this time back with my kids and being a mom is much more important to me right now. That day will come.
So, to all moms today, let this be a reminder that we are never "just" a mom!
Just ask your kids; you're their whole world!
Happy Mother's Day!
Friday, May 7, 2010
Stages of Life...
On this sixth day of May, the National Day of Prayer, I ponder on the different stages of life...
We awake at 6:45 AM to get ready to travel to Fayetteville for my brother-in-law's wedding. We're traveling on Highway 59 when Kyleigh starts crying and says "I'm gonna be sick!" Michael had cleaned the truck out before we left, and there were no bags, containers, etc. that I could give her. Before we got pulled over, she puked. They were dressed in new matching dresses, I had packed NOTHING for them, and all we found in the truck was 2 microfiber rags that we put over the carseat for her to sit on. We pulled off at Alma's Wal-Mart for me to run in and grab a dress. I was feeling pretty good about how fast I had made it in and out, and then I walked out the door to where Michael was supposed to be waiting on me, and he was not there. I looked around and found him parked. Why? She had puked again, this time soaking her panties! We did not have time for me to run back in Wal-Mart seeing as how we were in charge of videotaping the wedding, so we called Uncle Bill, and he was in Fayetteville already and went on a quick shopping trip for us. :) We called Steven as we got off the interstate (knowing we would be late by now), and luckily a lady from the church had gone home to get her videocamera. I felt so terrible! We arrived about 12 minutes late and after one more round of puking. :) We did get to see Cindy and Steven exchange vows, and we enjoyed lunch with the family. I am very thankful for this stage of life...marriage.
Photographs with family were being taken after the wedding when Billie decided to be curious and check out the church. She walked to the back, and before I could catch her, she stuck two fingers in the bowl of holy water, said "What's this?" and then proceeded to dump it all over the table and herself. Oh my gosh! I hope I'm right when I imagine God having a sense of humor in this kind of situation. That's not to say, though, that she didn't know she was in trouble! In spite of its challenges, I am very thankful for this stage of life...raising children.
I was unable to make it back to be with one of my very best friends as she had to lay her father to rest this afternoon. I'm not one who deals with death very well; I guess because I'm so extremely close with my family that when I lose someone, I tend to think about us not having them here with us and not the fact that they are in a better place with their God and Saviour and no more pain and suffering. That comes much later for me. I know she's hurting, but I also am truly inspired by her maturity and faith at this difficult time. Even though this earthly stage of life is over, I am thankful for the eternal life that Christians are promised.
After the return trip to our home, one more puking incident, a bath and a new carseat for Kyleigh, we hit the road again (this time with car sickness medicine in her belly) headed for Jessieville for Erik's high school graduation... another stage in life that's cause for celebration. He's headed to college to study business and begin the next stage in his life!
On the way to the graduation, I received a call from my mom, but there was hardly any signal. All I heard was, "...just called me and ...died." I was a nervous wreck for what seemed like eternity before I got a signal and could get the message she had left me. My friend who had buried her dad today was home for about an hour when her mom then passed away. It's times like these when I question stages of life that God has us go through: I just don't understand the timing. I know I shouldn't question; I just felt helpless and so concerned for them. In pondering over the various stages of life, I am so thankful for the times we are afforded with those we love, especially our parents.
We awake at 6:45 AM to get ready to travel to Fayetteville for my brother-in-law's wedding. We're traveling on Highway 59 when Kyleigh starts crying and says "I'm gonna be sick!" Michael had cleaned the truck out before we left, and there were no bags, containers, etc. that I could give her. Before we got pulled over, she puked. They were dressed in new matching dresses, I had packed NOTHING for them, and all we found in the truck was 2 microfiber rags that we put over the carseat for her to sit on. We pulled off at Alma's Wal-Mart for me to run in and grab a dress. I was feeling pretty good about how fast I had made it in and out, and then I walked out the door to where Michael was supposed to be waiting on me, and he was not there. I looked around and found him parked. Why? She had puked again, this time soaking her panties! We did not have time for me to run back in Wal-Mart seeing as how we were in charge of videotaping the wedding, so we called Uncle Bill, and he was in Fayetteville already and went on a quick shopping trip for us. :) We called Steven as we got off the interstate (knowing we would be late by now), and luckily a lady from the church had gone home to get her videocamera. I felt so terrible! We arrived about 12 minutes late and after one more round of puking. :) We did get to see Cindy and Steven exchange vows, and we enjoyed lunch with the family. I am very thankful for this stage of life...marriage.
Photographs with family were being taken after the wedding when Billie decided to be curious and check out the church. She walked to the back, and before I could catch her, she stuck two fingers in the bowl of holy water, said "What's this?" and then proceeded to dump it all over the table and herself. Oh my gosh! I hope I'm right when I imagine God having a sense of humor in this kind of situation. That's not to say, though, that she didn't know she was in trouble! In spite of its challenges, I am very thankful for this stage of life...raising children.
I was unable to make it back to be with one of my very best friends as she had to lay her father to rest this afternoon. I'm not one who deals with death very well; I guess because I'm so extremely close with my family that when I lose someone, I tend to think about us not having them here with us and not the fact that they are in a better place with their God and Saviour and no more pain and suffering. That comes much later for me. I know she's hurting, but I also am truly inspired by her maturity and faith at this difficult time. Even though this earthly stage of life is over, I am thankful for the eternal life that Christians are promised.
After the return trip to our home, one more puking incident, a bath and a new carseat for Kyleigh, we hit the road again (this time with car sickness medicine in her belly) headed for Jessieville for Erik's high school graduation... another stage in life that's cause for celebration. He's headed to college to study business and begin the next stage in his life!
On the way to the graduation, I received a call from my mom, but there was hardly any signal. All I heard was, "...just called me and ...died." I was a nervous wreck for what seemed like eternity before I got a signal and could get the message she had left me. My friend who had buried her dad today was home for about an hour when her mom then passed away. It's times like these when I question stages of life that God has us go through: I just don't understand the timing. I know I shouldn't question; I just felt helpless and so concerned for them. In pondering over the various stages of life, I am so thankful for the times we are afforded with those we love, especially our parents.
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